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June 24, 2003
the bat joke (and more)
An Episcopalian priest, a Methodist priest, and a Catholic priest are having lunch and complaining about their parish problems. "I have the biggest problem with bats in my church," says the Catholic priest. "I got out my gun and shot at them, but all I got were holes in my ceiling."
"I know what you mean," says the Methodist priest. I have all these bats in my church too. I rounded them all up, drove them fifty miles into the countryside, and let them go - but they beat me back home!"
"Well," says the Episcopalian priest, "I used to have a problem with bats too, but not any more."
"Wow!" say the Catholic and Methodist priests, "what did you do? How'd you get rid of them?"
"It was easy," says the Episcopalian priest, "I just rounded them all up, baptised them, confirmed them, and I never saw them again!"
Here's a couple more Episcopal light bulb jokes:
Q: How many Episcopalians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: What???!! My grandmother donated that light bulb in 1954!
**********
Q: How many Episcopalians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 10. One to actually change the bulb and 9 to say how much they liked the old one.
**********
Q: How many Episcopalians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to change it and two to storm out in protest if the person changing it is gay.
***********
Q: How many Episcopalians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 10: One to change the bulb amd nine to start a new parish with the old lightbulb.
***********
Q: How many Anglo-Catholics does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Sixty:
1 Crossbearer
2 vergers
2 torchbearers
1 Thurifur
1 Alcolyte to carry new bulb on pillow
1 Subdeacon
1 Deacon
1 Celebrant
50-member choir of men and boys to sing the Service for the Changing of
a Lightbulb (1928 Book of Common Prayer)
************
Here's a couple more favorites....
***********
Jesus asked some Episcopalians, "Who do you say that I am?"
They replied, "You are the eschatological manifestation of the ground of our being, the kerygma of which we find the ultimate meaning in our interpersonal relationships."
And Jesus paused for a second and said, "What?"
***********
3 clegymen passed away; a Lutheran pastor, a Roman Catholic priest, and an Episcopal priest. When they arrived at the Pearly Gates, they discovered that it was Peter's day off, so Jesus was administering the entrance exam. Jesus told them, "This is a one question exam. Simply answer this; who do you say that I am?"
The Lutheran pastor stepped forward and began, "The Bible says..."
Jesus interrupted him. "I didn't ask you what the Bible said. Who do you say that I am?"
The Lutheran pastor, looking perplexed, responded, "Well, I'm not sure." A trap door opened, and he disappeared, off to that other place.
The Roman Catholic priest stepped forward and began. "The pope said...."
Jesus interrupted him. "I didn't ask you what the pope said. Who do YOU say that I am."
The Roman Catholic priest looked down and muttered, "I really don't know." The trap door opened, and he also disappeared.
Jesus, getting frustrated, turned to the Episcopal priest. "Well?"
The Episcopal priest responded, "You are the Christ, the Son of the living God!"
Jesus smiled, the Pearly Gates begain to open, then the Episcopal priest continued, "But, on the other hand...."
*********
Posted by Chris A at June 24, 2003 05:00 PM
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